Don't wake me up when September ends part 1

All of us know that Greenday song from way back in the mid 2000s. Boy what would I give to return to those days with the knowledge I have now, I'd be unstoppable! Lol, but no other moment in my life other than Daniela being born ever compares to what happened to me in the whole month of September 2011. I know we're not suppose to live our lives with any regret, but if there was one thing I did regret, it was that I didn't stop at that time to let it all soak in. If September was a dream, I didnt want it to end. I didn't want to be woken up from the best dream ever...FYI, this blog is unsuitable for the kiddies! Bad bad stuff!

Daniela Rose

Ever since I was 18, I've always wanted to get a tattoo. But my parents would have killed me if I ever got one, and I just didn't know what design I wanted permanently inked on my skin. I decided to hold off because at that time the barbed tat seemed like an awesome idea. (yah..) When I lived in the Philippines, again I was close to getting one, but then realized how sanitary getting a tat there was. I still wasn't ready for one, and also wasnt ready to get hepatitis B. My time back in the US was a constant, what should I get? Where should I get it? Finally, I decided to get a Filipino flag down my arm. I was gonna go with my best (wo)man Celeste to get our first tats but once again, the pussy in me came out and I bailed. She has an awesome tat on her shoulder and may have started the parent signature tat revolution. A couple years passed and I completely scrapped the idea of having one until, I became a father. My whole idea of having a tattoo was for it to mean something dear to me, and whenever I would see it I would be so proud that I would ever consider permanently putting it on my skin. What better tat to have then my daughters name? But since I always thought outside the box, I was going to have her name put in ancient Filipino script, baybayin. Since Lidia is Mexican, our babies would become Mexipinos, and if we were to have a 2nd child, his/her name would go on my right arm in ancient Mayan script. But due to unfortunate circumstance, I am no longer able to have anymore children. :( Lidia and a family friend I've known since forever Jennifer came with me as I finally got my first tat down my left arm of my daughter's name. Lidia asked me why didn't I get a tat of her name on me. I laughed and said I didnt want to put her name on me because....well, you might never know. I'm going to have to end up looking for another girl named Lidia. To those that know me from the Philippines, you all know that shouldn't be hard for me right? Lol! To this day, I'm still very happy I got the tat, and I already have my next 2 designs memorized in my head.

So far September was shaping up to be a great month. I was having no treatment, I was enjoying time with loved ones, I finally felt like a father to Daniela. The way I won her over was that I'd put her on my shoulders and pretend to drop her, or pick her up and throw her in the air. For some weird reason, Dani would laugh every time I do this, and unfortunatly, I may have made her into a mini thrill seeker. So far I had no worries about anything, until Celeste told me that my bachelor party was coming up. I thought to myself, "Oh my God, no..." Usually guys wouldn't fear for their bachelor party because most go to strip clubs, get drunk, shoot something, then head home after 4am. That's nothing right? Well not the way my family friends plan. The last bachelor party I was at, Jennifer's husband Mo, got his ass beaten. I know there's a code not to talk about this stuff, but this was funny. So, remembering everything what happened to him, I was afraid it would happen to me. I begged Celeste, "Please no midgets! Anything but them. I don't want to get whipped and beaten like mo. And, ummm, no big girls. Also, no transvestites." I actually feared for what was to happen because knowing Celeste, she'd actually do something hilarious like that, and if it wasn't my bachelor party, I'd think it would be awesome! Lol! So Celeste invited everyone I told her to invite and we all met at the Hooters downtown on Wells. I see my co-workers, friends, family friends, and Lidia's brother and some of her family there already and I thought to myself, "Tonight is gonna be one fucking crazy night! Ohh, it's only 5PM! We have the whole night to ourselves!" I didn't know how I was going to pace myself because I have not had any alcohol due to chemo and radiation. Honestly the last time I got really drunk was the day I confessed to Jennifer at victory liquors that I wanted to marry Lidia back in March 2010, immediately after confessing, I blacked out.

Dave B in the house!

At Hooters, I had a couple beers, then came the shots, then more shots. Next thing I realized, it was 7PM and we had to head over to Tantrik, where Celeste had the upstairs portion of the club reserved for the party. We all got the unlimited drink wristband, but at that moment, probably 7:20PM I was already good because I was smashed as hell. But to be a good sport, I kept drinking with all my friends. A couple of minutes later the thing I was fearing the most arrived, the "entertainment." One look and whew, not a midget! I shot a glance over at Celeste and started laughing. I forgot her name, but she was a small blond lady, and we all took pictures with her, especially the wedding party! But then, the lady whips out a chair and tells me in a very demanding tone to sit down. I say to her, "Holy shit! Let me at least finish my drink!" I run to the bar and finish my (I don't know how many I've finished) vodka tonic. I sit down and look at everyone circling around cheering and yelling while taking out their $1 bills. Some had stacks so big, it looked like they were major drug dealers. I closed my eyes, and the only thing i pictured in my head was ironically and oddly enough, the LOTR: the 2 towers when the orcs attack Helms Deep. I remember right before the attack, King Theoden says to himself as what I exactly said to myself at around 7:40-8PM, "So it begins..."

Amid all the dollar bills flying everywhere, the alcohol spilling all over the place, the laughter, the yells, the whistles, I say to the lady, "Excuse me, time-out. May I have a drink? Would you like one too?" I refill on my vodka tonic and ask the bartender for a jaegerbomb as requested by the lady. The bartender tells me that jaeger bombs are not covered on the bracelets. I turn back at look at everyone in absolute panic hoping someone would pay for the lady's drink. She got her drink and I sit back down on the chair and she tells me, "uh-uh. You need to take off your clothes and lay down." The other thing I feared was going to happen, I was going to get a beatdown like Rodney king. I gingerly took off my clothes like high school freshman do the first time they undress in front of each other in PE class. In anticipation of the night, I intelligently did not wear white underwear. The lady took out some lotion and squirted it all over me and used me as a slip and slide. I told her that I just got a new tattoo the week before and I could only use hypoallergenic moisturizer on it. When she told me it wasn't, that it was just something from Walgreens, I asked her if she would not slip and slide near my left arm. Then she told me to get on my knees and she took the belt off my pants. I have to admit, the lady was very entertaining although she did whip me like a dog. It was as if all of us were at a Jappanese MMA event, and each slap got a loud "oooooohhhhh" from the crowd. Even her bouncer was getting into it, also yelling with each slap to my back or ass. Things were starting to get really hazy because every moment I had, I'd take a sip from my drink or from someone else's, or a random shot would be poured in my mouth. I finally had a moment to recover from the slapping, I put my clothes back on like a defeated man but was still laughing at what was going on. The bouncer cleaned the area up collecting all the money and the lady decided to start some advertising. If she collected an "X" amount of money, she would do some "tricks." Let me tell you, some of those tricks were very impressive. All I can say is she's a very good bowler. There were a lot more tricks including lollipops and for a good moment I felt like Tim "the toolman" Taylor. The lady was finished and stayed for a lil bit having more drinks with everyone. I thought that was a lot of fun but I felt like I needed to slow down, because I couldn't keep up with everyone else.

John B and Dave T enjoyin the entertainment

I had no idea what time it was but I kept drinking. Where ever I would turn, someone would toast with me or get me another drink. I decided to sit down because I wasn't feeling very well and my stomach started to turn. Then all of a sudden someone yells out, "The 2nd lady is here!" I thought to myself, "Oh no! Not again!" I was so drunk at this time I wasn't able to walk straight, my eyes were closed and I think I was so drunk I became one of those guys who danced in a corner by himself. While dancing to myself this tall naked brunette lady comes up to me and goes, "you're the groom right? Clothes off, on the floor now." I don't remember this happening but it's been said that I was arguing with the 2nd lady on why I have to take off my clothes while already stripping down. She gets on my back takes my tie chokes me, and orders me to bark like a dog. I make the hardest attempt to bark but at that moment, all I see is blackness. That was my very last memory of my bachelor party. A lot still happened during the party but I was just a blacked out zombie, it was said another lollipop made an appearance. I was whipped again and begged the 2nd lady to stop. Another rumor was said that I still was partying hard with my clothes off until I walked away and fell asleep on the couch. The 2nd lady didn't bring a bouncer, some heresay say that someone even got to have a "special moment" with her. Names will not be named but a legend was born that night. It was said I was dragged out of the club right when it was opening so the people in line waiting to go in saw me and had no idea what was going on. Also the people who were already walking in were able to see the 2nd lady still performing. Awesome free show!

Lights out

When I came to, I was back in oak park. In my underwear, and on the couch with a plastic bag near my head. I had no idea what was going on. It felt like I was in a dream. I thought to myself, "Where am I? Did I just really have my bachelor party? Thank God I'm not in Canada like what I thought was gonna happen. What happened? Oh my God! There was a 2nd lady!?! Owwwww, why does my ankle hurt so much?(being dragged out the club my ankle was dragging on the ground) What time is it? WHAT?!!? IT'S ONLY 2:30AM?!" I didn't believe how early it was because I could have sworn I lasted until 6AM, and I wanted to go strong for my bachelor party. I decided to look at Facebook for evidence, and unfortunately yes, there is a status update that I was out cold by 10PM and home by 11PM. I didn't even make it to midnight. I was ridiculed by a lot of people and you know who you are! haha! Lidia told me the following morning, she was out at Jennifer's house and when she found out I was going home, she had to go home to take care of me. Looks like the whole bachelor party was from 5-10PM, and my memory only served me well approximately until 845PM-9PM. Haha!

Take notes kids, that is how a rockstar has a bachelor party!